My name is Cullis "James" Autry and I was . . .
When I was growing up, my little brother & I would fuss & fight all the time. He knew how to push my buttons & make me so angry, that I would explode & he would sit back and watch the fireworks, or run for his life, as I was out to kill him!! I also had an older cousin, I looked up to & enjoyed spending time with, as he would share with us the things he was learning or working on, or we would just listen to him play his guitar & sing silly songs or love ballads. Then there was my father, who I loved greatly, but didn't see much of, as he was a business man, worked hard, but he would sometimes wrestle with me or tell funny stories of his childhood, wherein it would be hard to understand him at times, because he would be laughing so hard, trying to tell them. It wasn’t until I surrendered my heart & life to God, that I began to change my attitudes & actions towards my little brother & serve him, wherein he stopped being a pest & we became good friends and lived in peace. Then, as I continued to grow in my love for God, I became even closer to my cousin and moved to Nashville to attend college with him. We then rented an apartment together, to begin our adult lives, entertaining friends & working to earn a living. In the midst of great change & significant challenges, it was an incredible season of great joy & amazing peace. My relationship with my Dad continued to be distant (as I was very close to my Mom), but then, I couldn't get away from him. Although I was far away at college, I began to talk like him, stand like him, act like him & even think like him. Eventually, we were in such a place of peace, that I asked my Dad to be the Best Man in my wedding! My relationship with my brother was like my relationship with our Dad's Holy Spirit, wherein He knew how to touch those deep places of pain in my heart, so that I could see them & give them to Him to heal. At first, I would be hurt, react & be so angry, "God, why is this happening to me?" But, then I began to consider that really He loved me & wanted to get that splinter out of my heart, so that it could start to heal, rather than letting it continue to fester & cause even greater pain. Now, I'm at peace with whatever He wants to touch next, so that His peace will completely rule in my heart! My relationship with my cousin was like my relationship with our Dad's Son, who I looked up to & wanted to be like, wherein we have spent a lot of time together & I've learned so many lessons from His life, His words & His heart for others & for His Dad. I've done my best to follow Him, talk like Him, act like Him & think like Him. The peace that we share is such a comfort & guide to my heart & has made me into the man that I am for myself, my family & my world. My relationship with my Dad has recently become like my relationship with our Heavenly Father, wherein I can't get away from Him (which is a very good thing). I always thought that I would not really experience my real Dad, until I died & entered Heaven, His Home, but now I see Him all the time (doing things for me, my family & for others), I hear Him all the time (speaking words of love & approval, giving me direction & insights and letting me, be His voice of love for my family & others) & I'm even starting to think like Him (understanding some of the deep things that He is doing in my heart, in my family, in my community & in my world). I never realized, until now, the fullness of the prayer that He is answering for His Son & for us, "Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done, on earth AS it is in Heaven!" He is literally coming to earth right now, revealing Himself as our good, good Father & establishing His home in our hearts, our souls (mind, emotions & will) and making us into His sons, so that He can be a father to those around us & through us! He has become my Best Man, so that I can become His Best Man for what He has called me to Have, Do, Say & most importantly, Be!!! |
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Yes, Papa! |